Everything Has Changed…And Yet Stays the Same

firstpicture

This is one of the first pictures we took together. It is still one of my all time favorites.

From the very beginning I have been sharing little conversations, whole realizations, affirmations, and tons of pictures of us on social media. When I decided to undertake this project of writing about our relationship, I knew I was going to start by going through those posts and using them essentially as writing prompts. Already I can see that it will be easier than I originally thought.

After just a few minutes of scrolling I found from the first month, hell the first few weeks we were together this simple post:

Sharyla: Are you realizing now how long this process is taking!?

Brakk: Oh, I knew. It’s you who needs to understand.

Now- on the surface this might not make very much sense, and if you don’t know us personally, it probably makes no sense at all, but that’s why we’re here, for me to hash it out with you.

I have never been known to be a patient person. Ever. In high school I managed to begin a year of border line anorexia simply by not being patient enough to wait in line for my lunches and subsequently realizing that I could go a very long time without feeding myself.

When we first started dating I would hear at least once a day “I will do this at a pace that is good for me!”. As the impatient person that I am, I struggled with this. However, I was so attracted to him and the way he used his words that I would stand and wait for him to finish whatever it was he thought was so important. But from the very beginning I realized our interactions were making me a more patient person. I think it was the first change that I noticed in myself and it was like a breath of fresh air. Not being patient was always a struggle for me, and for others when interacting with me.

He has opened up my eyes to see life less as waiting for the next thing to hurry up and happen and more to living in the moment. Sometimes this is done by simply making me wait and sometimes through long conversations about why waiting is not necessarily the worst possible thing in the world.

He also has realized that dealing with me is much easier if the waiting is entertaining and also that there are some things that are actually important and that we might need to hurry up from time to time.

I no longer hear “I will do this at a pace that is good for me.” because I have learned to recognize when waiting can be necessary and fun, and he has realized that sometimes we need to put on our shoes instead of play with the cat.

All in all the above quote simply sums it up. He taught me to realize that if I understand that I might have to wait, it is much easier to do so.

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